Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Welcome to the leader by Design podcast. Today, I'm going to help you understand that coaching isn't a mystical art that only certain people are skilled at. It happens in everyday life, probably without you even realizing it. So stay tuned.
[00:00:16] G'day, I'm Brendan Rogers. I've built a thriving business creating confident leaders who achieved the results they always wanted, along with the lifestyle they always dreamed of. How do you become a confident leader? By focusing on three key developing character, building competence, and creating connection. This is the leader by Design podcast.
[00:00:40] G'day. I'm your host, Brendan Rogers. Thankfully, I'm only a few days late recording this podcast episode. I'm starting to get back on track with my regular schedule. A few days late. It's not too bad compared to the last episode, which was about four weeks later. So things are still a bit hectic in our house, the little one improving and developing every day. And we're getting a little bit more into a schedule, which is fantastic and our routine as a family. Now, before we dive in, if you've listened to earlier episodes of the podcast, you'll know how important mastering one on one meetings is as a critical skill for business owners. One on one meetings are one of the foundational elements within our three pillars of confident develop character, building competence and creating connection. So if you're looking to learn our complete a z system on how to master one on one meetings, then you can join our waitlist to hear more at Leaderbydesign. Au waitlist now, before we go into coaching, let me ask you this question.
[00:01:40] Have you ever walked up a set of stairs? If you have, then how have you looked at that set of stairs? Stairs are a great analogy for coaching because when you look at stairs, you start at the bottom and your goal is to walk up those steps. Whether it's three steps, five steps, 100 steps, your goal is to make it to the top. And if you relate this to coaching, then all we're saying to be a coach or to coach somebody is that you need to understand where they're at today, where they want to get to tomorrow, or in a certain period of time, and then what's the next step and how can you help them get there? Stairs are an everyday visual for improvement, and that's what coaching is. Coaching is purely and simply helping to elevate others, helping them to grow and develop, to become better at something that they want to become better at. And how do we do this? Well, we do it through coaching. The mindset of coaches. You can call yourself a coach, I believe if you have this one simple mindset, if you get enjoyment from helping others get better, then I honestly believe you can be a great coach. Doesn't mean that you have to call yourself a coach. Doesn't mean that you have to develop a coaching business and start to coach people and for them to pay you money for that service. If you're a business owner, if you're a parent, if you're in a family, if you work with young children, if you work with people in business and you have that mindset of you want to help others get better, then you can be a great coach. Now, what this episode isn't today is there's various coaching models out there. Some I've heard of, some I haven't. Things like the grow model, which I think is probably one of the most popular models. There's a fuel model, there's Oscar, and there's many, many more coaching models out there. This episode isn't about trying to be smart and show you what I know about coaching models and how we apply these coaching models. It's not that at all. All I want you to take from this episode as a business owner is to realize that even if you don't think you've coached before, you almost definitely have in everyday life. And when you're aware of it, you see that coaching happens all around you, and you're probably doing it more than what you realize. Now, if you're a consistent listener to this podcast, you'll know that myself and my wife are foster carers, and we look after little children, and we've been doing that since about 2021. Now, we've got a little girl in our care currently, and one of the things that she hadn't done ever before is wear shoes. Now, this little girl's three years old, and we didn't really know how to get her to wear shoes, given that she hasn't worn them ever. The daycare that she was in said that she would just flat out refuse and kick and scream and never wear shoes. We were told that it's a sensory issue potentially related to the fact that she may be on the spectrum, on the autism spectrum. So we looked at this and said, right, our goal is pure and simply to see if we can get her to wear shoes. She'd never worn shoes. We knew that she went everywhere, bare feet. So all we did was consider, well, what was our first step, and she didn't come to us with shoes. So the most obvious first step was to buy some shoes, which is what my wife went out and did. We weren't even sure what the next step would be after that, but we knew that she wasn't currently wearing shoes. We were going to see if we could get her to try and wear shoes so she could go out safely outside and play in the park and do all those things that beautiful three year olds should be doing, running around and playing and just having lots of fun without any danger to her feet. So shoes were worn, and what we did is just leave the shoes in the landing at the bottom of our staircase, where she comes and goes and plays and walks past. And she just started to notice those shoes a little bit more, sometimes touch them and pick them up and muck around with them and those sorts of things. But she became familiar with the shoes. Well, the next step from there was we decided to put some socks on her. Now, she did not like that at all. She didn't like wearing socks, but what she did like is being in our arms. So when we put the socks on, we'd bring her in our arms, and we'd just walk with her wearing the socks. And from that situation, we could see that it did not seem to be a sensory issue. She was okay wearing the socks. She didn't get cranky about being in her arms and having socks on. Fantastic. We'd move forward. What was the next step gonna be? Well, we tried to just get her to stand in socks and just play with socks. Well, that didn't go too well. She would pull them off quite quickly, but we knew that she could wear socks. We knew that it wasn't a sensory issue. She would just wear socks when she was in our arms. So, next step, let's try with some shoes. We were able to get shoes on her again. That was a bit of a struggle, but we got there, we got shoes on her, put the Velcro on so she couldn't take them off. She wouldn't walk with them. She got cranky and kicked and screamed and all those sorts of things and wanted to take them off. What did we do again? We picked her up, put her in our arms, and she was fine wearing the shoes in our arms. So we used to take her on little walks. We'd have her in the pram, we'd have her in our arms, and we'd take her on walks, and we'd just get her to be comfortable in the fact that she was with us, she was wearing shoes, and it didn't seem to be a hassle at all. What do we do then? Well, we weren't really sure on what the next step was. But we're out walking one day. Just thought, oh, she loves to play with this tree or this little hedge that we go past. So we put her down and she stood there. She didn't moan or get upset, and she started playing with the tree. I tried to get her to walk from there. She wasn't having any of it. She wanted to come straight back into my arms. So we're on our way to the park anyway, just down the road from our place. So I picked her up, and I took her down to the park. Now, I thought, well, she loves the park, so maybe this is the opportunity for her to walk. So what I did is I put her down at the grassed area not far from the park and the play area. And I walked across to the play area about ten or 15 meters away, and she stood there and she just cried, and she would not move from that spot. Now I'm sitting there thinking, oh, she loves this play area. She'll come soon enough. Well, she didn't. And I also sat there and thought, Brendan, what are you doing? You're a coach. People pay you to coach them. What are you doing being so far away from her with her first steps? Basically, she was standing there and she was thinking, holy shit. I'd put her into the holy shit zone, which was from where she was to where I was, 15 meters away. That was just too far away. Holy shit. I can't do that. That's too much of a challenge. So once I realized my own mistake, I went much closer to her, and I stood about three to 5 meters away from her, and I knelt down and I said, come to me. Come to me. Walk. And she stopped crying, and she took her first steps in her shoes, and that was one of the coolest experiences ever. She walked to me. I got that on video, and it was just fantastic. We'd move this little girl from wearing no shoes ever and being told that she would not wear shoes. It's a sensory issue. Three years of age, she started to play with some shoes. She got some socks on her feet. We then moved to putting shoes on. And now, some weeks later, every time we're going in the car, every time we're leaving the house, she sits on the staircase with the shoes ready and waiting to have them put them on. She puts her legs out, and she's ready to go to get those shoes on. So that whole process was coaching. Now with our own children, we didn't have those same issues. They just put shoes on because that's what we did. Maybe they were feeling safe from day dot, but from an early age, they had shoes and it was just seemed a natural progression. But we never experienced anything like this before. We were unsure as what to do, but all we did was, this is where we're at today. This is where we want to be at some time in the future. We didn't know how long it would take, but getting her to wear shoes and we took these various steps along the way. Now, we were comfortable in the process. I didn't sit down with my wife and say, right, as a coach, I think we need to plan out this step. 12345. Not at all. That was not nothing we ever did. All we did was say, this is where we are. This is where we need to get to. And what is the next step? Excuse the pun. Our next step. Let's put the shoes down, let's get some socks going. Then let's get some shoes carrying in our arms, and let's get her to take some steps. And now she freely plays. As I said, she gets out and about, can't wait to get in the car with her shoes on and to go, because she knows where she's going. To the playground or for a walk or run around or anything that is coaching, that is in everyday life. So whether you're a parent, whether you're an uncle or an aunt or anyone dealing with either small children or dealing with older children, and you're helping people in life, there is a very, very strong possibility. Actually, I would say definitely you have coached before. So when you start to realize this, then coaching is all around you and it's not difficult. All you need is a mindset. It's very simple to have a mindset around improving your children or improving your niece or nephew or whatever that relationship is. Coaching is not difficult. I've said it a number of times. In the example I gave around getting the little one that's in our care to wear shoes, we're having the same. We've had the same experience with bath time. She was not a regular bath taker in her previous environment with her family. She would kick and scream, and it took two weeks for her to settle down in the bath. But we were consistent. We knew that she had to have a bath every day, and we just maintained that consistency in her routine. And slowly but surely, she starts to enjoy the bath. Now, when you say bath time, she jumps into your arms and gets excited. And we sing our little dance. Bath time. Bath time. Bath time. Bath time. Bath time. Bath time. She loves that experience. The only thing she doesn't love now is the hair washing. So we've got a bit of work to do there. But again, we don't know what the next step is, but we know that this is where we're at, this is where we're trying to get to and for it to be a comfortable and pleasant experience with the hair being washed. And we will get there just through persistency and just by understanding what the next step might be that we take now in my professional life, if we can apply these to the business context, all we need to know are three things. These are the three things that all we need to ask ourselves about coaching and the first one is what are we trying to achieve? So in the case of shoes, we were trying to have this little girl wear shoes comfortably and be out and about wearing shoes. The second question where is the person at now? In our case, the little person had not worn shoes and in fact, we were told that she just would not wear shoes because of sensory issues. Third question is, what's the next step to move forward towards the goal? Well, as I said in the example, we bought shoes. The next step from that was tried socks on her and we went through that process. We eventually got the shoes on her and she was walking, running, playing, all of those good things. If you use those three questions as the basis for any coaching that you do, then you'll go very, very well and you will be able to help that person improve in whatever they're trying to do. The question I often get asked is, what if I don't know the next step? Well, I found that the simplest thing to do is to just get a better understanding of where the person's current challenge is. And if you talk with them through that and understand that, then in my experience, 100 times out of 100, the next step will always reveal itself. Now, that next step could be, hey, I'm not sure what I need to do next, but I know somebody who has had this experience before and I'm going to have a chat with them and find out and then come back and we'll move forward. Or it just may be that between the two of you, you agree on I'm going to take this next step and what if it doesn't work? If it doesn't work, there's probably not a lot of harm done at all. Just decide, reflect on that. Say, hey, that hasn't worked the way we'd like it to work. What could we do differently? And therefore we agree on what we would do differently and we take the next step. What I want you to take from this episode is that irrespective of coaching in everyday life or coaching people in your business, then this is all you need to follow to be a coach and to help people become better in their role. Those three questions, what are you trying to achieve? Where is the person at now and what's the next step to move forward towards that goal. If you can do that and support people in your business to grow and develop because they want to be better at their role, then you're a coach and you will help people in your business become better and perform better in the role and in your business. I'd also suggest you reflect on where you've coached in your life. Then you can bring this mindset into your business. Wear your coach badge with honor. Know that every single thing you need to grow and develop other people is probably already inside you because you would have done it in everyday life. Have the confidence to replicate what you naturally do in life by coaching and take that talent into your workplace to grow your team. I don't want you to think of coaching as a thing that only people like me or anyone that calls themself a coach can do. Everyone has done some form of coaching in everyday life. Now, if you're a business owner and you've got young people in your family, then you definitely have coached at some point. It could be something like reading a book. Well, if you consider that what you're trying to do is you're reading a book to your child and ultimately you want your child to learn to read. And you know that reading books, getting them familiar with books will help them on the path to being able to read themselves and reading their own books, maybe walking again. You probably don't sit there as a parent and think, well, how am I going to coach my child to walk? But you know that a child will learn to roll over eventually. I think it's about the sort of four, five, six month mark. They'll sit up, they'll learn to get on all fours, and they'll eventually progress to crawling and standing and then taking steps and walking and running and all those sorts of things. But you don't sit back and think, all right, I'm going to coach my child. This is where they are. This is where they need to be. And then what's the whole plan to get there? Maybe have some idea. But you just go with the flow. You start to see them move and become slowly become more able in certain areas, and you just go with that and you start to progress and support their growth. That's coaching. Now to finish up on the episode, I just want to remind you again, if you're a business owner who wants to learn our complete a to z system on how to use one on one meetings to maximize the performance of your employees, then you can join our wait list for the master one on one meetings program at Leaderbydesign au waitlist. And if you love the show and you want to develop your leadership and grow your business, make sure you follow or subscribe on your favorite podcast platform. And it's also super helpful if you can leave us a five star review. Just by doing that, you can help other business owners as the algorithm will push the show out to more people. Until next time, always remember, leaders aren't born. They're designed by developing character, building competence, and creating connection. Be a leader by design today in the hybrid working world, I've seen too many businesses owners and their businesses suffer because of poor performing employees, leading to below average results.
[00:18:06] If you want to improve your employees performance to deliver consistent results for your business, you have to master one on one meetings. The doors to our master one on one meetings training program are opening soon. I'll teach you how to improve employee performance and deliver consistent results using one on one meetings. To be one of the first people notified when the doors open, go to leaderbydesign au waitlist. Don't wait. Sign up now.
