Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome to the Leader By Design podcast. On today's episode, we are going to be talking about three powerful habits. The next three habits of highly effective people that can really level up your leadership game. So whether you are a school student, as he said, because we have my fellow co host here again, or whether you're running a business, these things truly matter. So have you ever wondered how the most successful people decide what's worth their time? Or even how they create relationships that thrive and work for everyone involved? If you consider these questions and you find them interesting and you're really looking to learn more, then this episode's for you. So stay tuned.
G'day. I'm Brendan Rogers. I've built a thriving business creating confident leaders who achieve the results they always wanted along with the lifestyle they always dreamed of. How do you become a confident leader? By focusing on three key areas. Developing character building competence and creating connection. This is the Leader by Design podcast. Hello again. Welcome back to the Leader by Design podcast and I am again here today with Emmy.
[00:01:09] Speaker B: Hello, everyone.
[00:01:10] Speaker A: Hey, Emmy, great to have you back again.
[00:01:12] Speaker B: Thanks for having me. Glad to be back here.
[00:01:14] Speaker A: Always a pleasure. You are getting more and more comfortable in the old podcast seat, aren't you?
[00:01:20] Speaker B: Yes, definitely.
[00:01:20] Speaker A: You're loving it.
[00:01:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:22] Speaker A: And when are you starting your podcast, did you say?
[00:01:25] Speaker B: End of this year?
[00:01:26] Speaker A: I think once you get school over and done with.
[00:01:29] Speaker B: Yep. Gotta finalise the date for it.
[00:01:31] Speaker A: Yeah, you got a bit happening. A bit. So tell us a little bit about your week, Emmy, because I know there's people out there that would love to know what's been happening in your world.
[00:01:38] Speaker B: Conquered the six foot track out at Katoomba this week. So we had a four day and three night camp for school and we walked roughly about 35, 36 kilometers over two days. So from Chenolin Caves all the way into Katoomba and it was so much fun. It was challenging at times, but it was awesome. Great team bonding experience with everyone as well.
[00:02:00] Speaker A: Fantastic. And how's the body holding up? How are you feeling?
[00:02:03] Speaker B: Not too bad today, which is good. The first night it was very sore. Everyone was in lots of pain, but thankfully we've recovered, which is great.
[00:02:10] Speaker A: Fantastic. Fantastic. Well, good. You showed me some great pictures of the views and stuff. Also showed me a great picture of the steak that you had on the last night just to boost your protein up.
[00:02:19] Speaker B: Yep, Good old Kachumba RSL.
[00:02:21] Speaker A: Absolutely. Look, you get. You can't go past RSLs in New South Wales, can you?
[00:02:25] Speaker B: No, they're so good.
[00:02:26] Speaker A: So much actually, that's one of the things I noticed about when my wife and I came back from Queensland and that's where I'm from, anyway, to New South Wales. RSLs are so much better in New South Wales. They are, they were anyway, maybe they still are. Haven't had a bite to eat in a Queensland RSL for a long time. But yeah, RSLs in New South Wales are good stuff. Very good as food goes. Definitely fantastic. Emmy, Will, was there anything that, you know, the whole idea of a trek like that and what the school put together, it's sort of challenging on the body and therefore challenging on the mind. Like, what did you. Reflecting on that experience, like, what was it that you think you learned or how that has maybe helped you look at leadership in a different way, or maybe you become a stronger leader given again that you are going to be a. Or you are a prefect at your school.
[00:03:19] Speaker B: I think giving that positivity and that reassurance to everyone. Like, we did a great job, guys. Even if this is what you've done, what you've done is amazing. Like, this is a hard challenge, but we've conquered it. I think just encouraging and bringing that positivity to the people that what as a team, what we've conquered is great. Like, we all made it to the finish line as well.
[00:03:41] Speaker A: That's fantastic. And we also spoke about, in earlier episodes about your working geniuses. So working genius of galvanizing. Galvanizing one and the other one is enabling. Enablement, yes, enabling, absolutely. So the things that you spoke about and the things you're able to do on that trek were galvanizing, like getting people excited, like, well done. Look, we're going to finish this together. This is so cool. So it's hard, but imagine the satisfaction at the end of that. So cool. And then I know you spoke about, you know, a couple of people on the, on the, the trek who you're able to support and help them and give them that extra pep up, that inspire with Emmy approach. So you got to use your geniuses through the week as well.
[00:04:20] Speaker B: Definitely. I think they came in lots of times. Very handy.
[00:04:23] Speaker A: Absolutely. People like you on a trek like that are very, very useful. Galvanizing people are getting excited about it and just supporting them and helping them finish and keeping them pepped up, so to speak.
[00:04:36] Speaker B: Yeah, I think so.
[00:04:37] Speaker A: Love it. Well done, Amy. Well, some people probably turned around and said, emmy, I'm just bloody sore. Can you leave me alone?
[00:04:43] Speaker B: Yeah, definitely.
Yep.
[00:04:47] Speaker A: Well, my week, if anybody cares. So I had my first skin cancer checkup this week First, I'm 49 years of age, lived in Australia for a fair chunk of my life and I've never had one before and unfortunately I just had to get a biopsy. There was one little area that he just wants to have a look at. I don't think it's anything serious. He said it's probably not anything serious, but just to be sure. So I've had a chunk taken, taken out of my neck, which is a bit weird. But anyway, all good. And then the other thing that happened even more importantly is that we had our opportunity to run the Connection Bingo event for ET Australia in the week. So I hosted the Alumni Spotlight event. It was a couple hours, a bit over a couple hours with the team and we had about 50 odd people there, a mixture of staff and alumni from their secondary school and from the adult training college. And Emmy, what you helped had actually had a massive part in helping create the connection Bingo card. It worked fantastically.
[00:05:48] Speaker B: That's great to hear.
[00:05:49] Speaker A: So thank you very much for what you did there.
[00:05:50] Speaker B: You're welcome. That's all right.
[00:05:52] Speaker A: Your ideas and your. It was a team effort, but it just. I'd never done anything like that before with, in this sort of environment. I've certainly hosted events, but just, you know, putting a different, slightly different spin, providing a bit of structure to these young people that have various challenges, which is why they're at a school like that. Mainstream school doesn't work so well for them, but they're thriving. God, I get so much energy from talking to young people like yourself. I love sitting down, having a chat with you, but so much energy learning their stories.
I interviewed a couple of people in the night for their alumni spotlight and two wonderful young ladies sort of making their way in work. One of them has developed their own business, a mortgage broken business. So, Brit and Bree, well done and congratulations to you. Such inspiring stories are so much fun. Yeah, so much fun. So, yes, you're. You are going to have a go at the Connection Bingo with your classmates next week, I understand.
[00:06:49] Speaker B: Yes, that sounds like the plan.
[00:06:51] Speaker A: Looking forward to it.
[00:06:52] Speaker B: It should be really good.
[00:06:52] Speaker A: Yeah, you'll do fantastic. You'll get them all excited about it.
[00:06:55] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure.
[00:06:57] Speaker A: All right, Emmy, well, let's go into our main topic of today, which is.
[00:07:03] Speaker B: The third, fourth and fifth habits of the seven highly. Seven habits of highly effective people.
[00:07:09] Speaker A: Absolutely. Awesome. Awesome. So what's our first habit? Our first habit is put first things first. So the first habit that we're talking about today, but it's Number three of the seven habits of highly effective people.
[00:07:23] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:07:24] Speaker A: So Emmy, how about you give your spin on that third habit?
[00:07:30] Speaker B: Yeah, I think. Well, it sort of says it in the thing, putting first things first. So it's sort of like there's an analogy which is big rocks and little rocks. So say you have a jar and you try and fill up it with sand first and then you put the big rocks in. There's a chance the lead won't fit. But let's say if you were to put the big rocks in first and then fill it up with sand, it's more chance that those that sands going to get around the rocks. So you've got your now put it into real life. You've got your big priorities and around them you want to schedule your little priorities, but you want to make sure you're always putting the more important things first. Making sure it's important as well over little priorities.
[00:08:13] Speaker A: I like that. Great, great analogy. And we talked a little bit about being proactive versus being reactive. And being proactive is that is the first habit that we spoke about last episode. How does be proactive link to this habit?
[00:08:29] Speaker B: I think being proactive if you've set aside time, let's say for yourself, because the first three habits are more about yourself and the habit of personal management. And that's your 40 minutes aside where you have some downtime, watch from Netflix or something like that. Somebody asked to do something. Being proactive and taking that initiative that this is my time, let's do something another time. Like this is my big rock. But I can schedule it around this.
[00:08:54] Speaker A: Absolutely. So being proactive means that you're making a deliberate decision to focus on the things or the thing that is more important for developing yourself. So you can do better in your schoolwork or you can get this assignment done in a better way. Or if you're a business owner, that's something that's taking your business forward in a strategic type manner, something that's going to impact the business in the next one, two, three years or something like that, as opposed to just looking at the immediate, urgent, reactive type approach. That's what you're saying?
[00:09:27] Speaker B: Yeah, basically.
[00:09:28] Speaker A: Excellent, excellent. So how has this habit come about for you with your project that we've spoken about a number of times? You're going to be presenting. So putting first things first. How has this helped?
[00:09:41] Speaker B: Well, I think the research that I have to do for my project is definitely a big rock, something that has to be done in order to have information to present. So scheduling each Week of researching a habit. And that's my big rock. That's what I want to do first and then say my journals, my math comes around that. But this is my main priority and making sure each week I get a bit of that research done. So just scheduling and organizing it as well like it.
[00:10:08] Speaker A: So when again, we're all different people. When do you like to schedule those important things, the big rocks, so to speak? Is there a certain time of the day or what works for you?
[00:10:19] Speaker B: I think whenever I find out about it, I'll just put it in my calendar or for the sake of the research, I actually made a planner of what I was going to get done each week for my project. So like week six, I was going to research the fifth habit or something like that. So I was making sure that I was staying accountable for my actions as well.
[00:10:37] Speaker A: Love it. So it's really about again, prioritizing your time and in that time putting those big rocks as you're calling them or those key things, the most important things to move, whatever you're trying to move forward for the long term, that's the key message.
[00:10:55] Speaker B: Yeah, it's all about time management and scheduling. What's important as well.
[00:11:01] Speaker A: What is it in your world that could take you away from putting first things first? There's probably a lot of things, isn't there? So many things Give us a flavor of what can take you away.
[00:11:13] Speaker B: Friends. That's probably a big one. Not on them or not on me on any kind. But you want to hang out with your friends. Like you want to find that balance between work life and social life, for example. So say my exhibition's in a week's time. My friends could ask to do something next weekend. It's like, wait a minute, if I'm still behind on my research, do I want to spend time with you guys as well or do I want to prioritize this to get it done? Do you know what I mean? So I think definitely finding that balance, but lots of distractions could definitely help you not prioritize those big rocks as much.
[00:11:48] Speaker A: Yeah, spot on. Look, I think phones for all of us.
[00:11:50] Speaker B: Oh, phones as well.
[00:11:51] Speaker A: It's a key thing, isn't it?
[00:11:53] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:11:54] Speaker A: Phones, friends, as you say. But even coming back to, you know, we have a little chat out in the morning, a bit of a coffee and you have your water and we talk in a nice outlook over the pond and everything like that. But we're saying how came back to the desk and what did I do? I just had my emails up And I saw an email from a client, didn't I? So again, I sort of justified in that, okay, there was a timeframe needed to get a response back to him by a certain time. Cause he was doing a town hall with his team. But you could sort of say, well, you know what, I just did that first when we were coming back to the desk to do the podcast. And the podcast is like evergreen content. It's going out to lots and lots of people. We get people listening to the episode. That in the greater perspective is much more important than me just replying to.
[00:12:42] Speaker B: One email could be, yes.
[00:12:47] Speaker A: But I made an excuse for it. And it was important to do.
[00:12:50] Speaker B: It was important.
[00:12:50] Speaker A: It was important for that client. And I've got good relationships with my clients. I want to put those ahead. But again, it's a great example in the business sense. Like how often do we just get dragged away with. I'm just going to get that email done. I'm just going to get that email rather than just shutting down our email. And you know what? I need to get this podcast done with Amy, because this is super important for both of us to get out to our tens of millions of followers that are listening to us.
[00:13:14] Speaker B: I know. Thanks, guys.
[00:13:16] Speaker A: It's so good, isn't it?
[00:13:17] Speaker B: It is.
[00:13:17] Speaker A: Is anybody in particular you want to shout out to today? Maybe. Well done on the trek?
Somebody that really impressed you on the trek?
You met someone? Well, you knew somebody. Obviously knew a lot of the classmates and stuff, but you got to spend a bit more time with somebody else from the trek.
[00:13:37] Speaker B: Different kids.
[00:13:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:13:38] Speaker B: Who don't normally talk to like I had my friends, so I had like the girls I normally hang with, but I think at night time when we were sitting around like having conversation with the. With the soccer boys, which I've never spoken to in my life before, but.
[00:13:51] Speaker A: Yeah, and they're not all that bad, are they?
[00:13:53] Speaker B: No, they're actually really nice to talk to.
[00:13:55] Speaker A: Look, I mean, the reason why I sort of threw that herring in is just being deliberate because we talk about business, talk about leadership specifically. And this podcast leader by Design is about leadership and self leadership and growing yourself, growing your business to hopefully develop more money, more time and more freedom. Relationships is one of those things from putting first things first. If you're a leader in a business, business owner, or leading a team, relationships are one of those things you should prioritize. They're what we call an important thing, developing those relationships, and then it might be developing your people through the back of those strong relationships. You know what's going to help them be better team members, be better employees. That's going to help them in the business and it's going to help them in their future journey, whatever that looks like. So that's. They're really good. I think they're really good examples from a leadership and business owner perspective that if you're putting time into that each week, each day, then your business is going to go pretty good, I think. So how would that apply for you in school? And again, being a, being a leader, being a prefect, what's. What relationship should you think you should foster regularly as an important thing and putting first things first, I think with.
[00:15:05] Speaker B: Students, people in your class, because they're one of your biggest supporters, you know what I mean? Like you're in the same class with them every day. They know what you're doing, they know what you're working. I think advisors and teachers around the school, like, they're so much like more experienced as well. They've got so much more expert and information on a topic you might be interested in as well. So fostering relationships with my advisor Tim, or the principal Paul, who's done the seven habits, people like you, like mentors that we go out into the work field and get to experience. I think fostering those key relationships. Definitely.
[00:15:41] Speaker A: Yeah. Well done again. So what we're basically seeing for you, you're a young person, 17, as we said before. Yeah. You're doing pretty well at living these seven habits, I think. Well, we haven't gone through all of them, so we've still got a bit of checking to do, haven't we? But you're doing pretty well on what we've covered so far.
[00:15:56] Speaker B: I'd like to think so. Yeah.
[00:15:58] Speaker A: Keep doing it, Emmy. Keep doing it. There's Shoot for the stars, follow the 7 Habits plan.
[00:16:04] Speaker B: Yep. Great analogy there.
[00:16:06] Speaker A: Excellent.
I guess the only other thing I would mention, because I do this a lot and you've experienced it with it, came to an off site with myself and what we ran for one of my clients a little a few weeks back now. But putting first things first as a business owner, particularly if you're leading a team and you're leading people in a business, but even if you're not, you need to take time to do this yourself. But thinking about your business strategically, taking time away from the workplace and actually sitting down, what does this next period of time look like? You know, what is, what is the grand plan for this business in a few years time? I don't like to go Too far. Much further than that now, especially since COVID because I think that taught us that, you know, looking way ahead is just to be fair, I think a waste of time because you just don't know what's going to happen in between that. But you got to have some idea about that. Begin with the end in mind. What does that look like in the future?
[00:16:55] Speaker B: Definitely.
[00:16:56] Speaker A: And then putting deliberate time in together to unpack. What are we going to do in this next year? What's our goals? What are we aiming to achieve? And then what are we going to do in our next 90 days? Talk about those rocks analogy. What are those rocks that we need to. Need to do?
[00:17:11] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:17:12] Speaker A: So. And you really enjoyed that day, didn't you?
[00:17:15] Speaker B: Yes, yes, I did. That was lots of fun.
[00:17:18] Speaker A: Your lost listener came in then.
[00:17:20] Speaker B: That was. Did. I was confused what you were talking about then. But that's all right. Back on. Back on track.
[00:17:24] Speaker A: It was good fun. It was. It's always good fun getting in a room with leaders and their teams and seeing how they're going.
[00:17:28] Speaker B: Yeah. Learnt lots that day, which was really good.
[00:17:31] Speaker A: So let me ask, before we move on from this habit and we move on to the fourth habit, is there anything else you would like to mention about. Put first things first. I know you've mentioned to me before about the fantastic. What they call. I'm pretty sure the name is the Eisenhower quadrant, but important versus urgent.
[00:17:46] Speaker B: Oh, that's right. We spoke about this last week. So it's like a four quadrant and you might have things in your important square, but you want to make sure it doesn't get urgent. I'm pretty sure that's how we put it. So making sure you get those important things done. So then you're getting things done. They don't get to the last minute and then it's all of a sudden urgent. So like doing a test the day before, like, you want to make sure it stays important, you get it done in time, but you're not rushing the night before to finish it off and scramble to finish it, but then also realizing that some things might be not important and not urgent. So don't think about them until you've done your important stuff as well.
[00:18:23] Speaker A: Spot on, Emmy. That's where those little. The little rocks come in. And when you've done those important things, you can. You can fill the. Fill the rest of your day with some of those little rocks, those little bits of sand.
[00:18:33] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:18:34] Speaker A: Love it. Such a good analogy. Where did you find it? Or you come up with it yourself?
[00:18:38] Speaker B: No, I actually saw it online. I think it's part of the 7 Habits book. It was one of the examples I gave in there. It was great. Very easy to understand as well.
[00:18:47] Speaker A: Well done. I was just testing you because it's a good habit not to take credit for things that aren't yours. No, great. Great leadership quality you have.
[00:18:55] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:18:55] Speaker A: Well done.
Next one. Our fourth habit of highly effective people. The second one we're unpacking today. What is it?
[00:19:03] Speaker B: Think. Win, win.
[00:19:05] Speaker A: Tell us more. What does it mean?
[00:19:07] Speaker B: This one is the habit of mutual benefit. So making sure that I'm not completely getting something from it, but making sure both parties are getting something from it and not someone's walking away and getting the short end of the stick.
So there's a few examples. Oh, there's a few examples you can give here. So win, win. We both take a piece of the pie. We both get a piece. Another analogy is win, lose. So you get what you want, but like I said before, the other person doesn't get it. They got the short end. They just. I don't want to do that because I only got the short end of the stick.
Lose, win is the nice guys. So the doormats you like, in this instance, you're always letting people walk all over you say it with their opinions or things in a situation, just letting them win or the argument and being like, oh, it's okay. It's all right. We'll do it next time. But, you know, I mean, not voicing your opinion as much, and then the lose, lose. Well, if you go down, then they're coming down with you as well. So I think this habit's all about finding that agreement in the middle and that mutual, Mutual benefit of both parties.
[00:20:14] Speaker A: Yeah, well said. It's. It's really making sure that as a fundamental, like success or achieving success. Having success doesn't have to be at the benefit of somebody else's detriment or not success. So that. Win, win. And having that mindset about, how can we make this, like. I think you said, like, a mutually beneficial relationship.
[00:20:35] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:36] Speaker A: What about our relationship, Emmy? You know, I really like spending time with you. You're fantastic everywhere, and you ask great questions and you're learning lots. How is our relationship a win, win? Like, how is it a win for you?
[00:20:48] Speaker B: I'm learning so much. Like, I might walk away from this eight weeks, and I might be like, oh, I want to start my own podcast. I want to be a leader person and help businesses out. Or I might walk away from it and Be like, that was great. Not what I want to do when I leave school, but I got so much out of it. And I think I definitely have even over the last few weeks as well. And I think for you, like we said earlier, you mentioned with the podcast and how, like the different ideas we've come up with or the bouncing, talking to somebody else as opposed to just talking by yourself as well. So I think it's a win, win situation.
Hopefully. Hopefully it's the same on your point of view, but I think it's. I think it's definitely that.
[00:21:32] Speaker A: Yeah, it's definitely a win win. And I would have. If it wasn't a win win for me, I would have said, no, thanks.
[00:21:38] Speaker B: Yeah. So that's very true.
[00:21:40] Speaker A: But yeah, absolutely. From my perspective, like spending time with you again, even at the event that I spoke at and hosted on Wednesday night, was that. That was an event which predominantly young people were at. Yes, the staff were there, but predominantly young people. And I love spending time with young people and I love spending time with people, but young people and just their unique perspective on the world, the experiences they've had, the challenges that you guys face day to day, a little bit more, I believe, than what we had as young people. We didn't have phones, we didn't have have videos in our pockets where people were just taking stuff if you had too many drinks or any kind of like. We just didn't have those sort of major concerns which can come back and bite you in the butt later on.
[00:22:20] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:22:21] Speaker A: So, yeah, lots of win. I get energy from that. I love, again, being a coach. I love coaching and mentoring people and help people learn and hopefully being a part of your journey moving forward. So, yep, for me, it's a win, win, win, win, win for you.
[00:22:38] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:38] Speaker A: High five. Nice Emmy knuckles.
Our little one loves doing that high fives and knuckles. And then Locky, our son's been teaching the whole drag back as well, so.
[00:22:49] Speaker B: The octopus.
[00:22:50] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, she's not quite got that yet, but she's getting close. But she loves a high five. Knuckles. That's very cute. Yeah, it's good fun. Definitely a win win. Definitely a win win.
[00:22:58] Speaker B: Definitely.
[00:22:59] Speaker A: So if we talk about leadership development, so, you know, really the habits or talking about win, win, that we want to make sure as a business owner or as a leader and if that leadership role involves owning a business, that we're working with our team and making sure that the goals that we're working with, you know, whether they're growth goals, whether they're development Specific for technical development goals or whatever they are, but they're also aligning with what the business needs. So not as only if you're here today, you know, we're setting some goals over the course of this journey that's helping you. But then how is that helping sort of the organization, let's say my organization as whole? Well, I think again being in this podcast, we're sharing this, we're letting people know what that's about. So there's a again another example of win win if you're business own the organization, just make sure that. And I don't know how many times I've heard this. Let me get on my soapbox a little bit. And I've done it myself in the early days of leading people, but there's this whole outdated thinking about performance reviews every year. Crazy stuff. But I'll talk about that on another podcast. But often there's a section about training, what training you're going to have and people just say they just send them on an Excel course or they send them on a word course or they just send them on some course, which these courses are great, but there's not always a direct link, often not a direct link to their own development, how it's going to help them in the role and all that sort of stuff. So again I would say, well that might be a win from. It looks okay that they're going on a course, but the lose is, well how is actually helping them and actually how is it helping the business as a whole? So again, having that two way conversation, understanding what you're wanting to grow and develop in me, understanding that a little bit more. And this is going to go to our next habit, isn't it? Then then we can understand what things are about and we can make some better decisions about what a win win scenario looks like. Yeah, that makes sense.
[00:24:56] Speaker B: Definitely.
[00:24:57] Speaker A: Awesome. So we don't need to edit that bit out that I've just said.
[00:25:00] Speaker B: No, we don't.
[00:25:01] Speaker A: That's good.
[00:25:02] Speaker B: Yes, that was great.
[00:25:03] Speaker A: I'm just joking again, Emmy, you just like I'm not even funny.
[00:25:06] Speaker B: Try to catch on here. Try to understand.
[00:25:08] Speaker A: Maybe by the last episode you would have caught on to my stupid sense of humor.
[00:25:11] Speaker B: Hopefully, yes.
[00:25:13] Speaker A: All right. But before we go on to the next one, which I've sort of led into our fifth habit and the third one, third and final one we're talking about today. But in regards to Think Win Win, is there anything else that you think we should mention? Is there anything you'd like to mention? About think win win.
[00:25:28] Speaker B: I think there's another point that I've written down here is that win win, which is like quote unquote that I'm reading this is seen as a cooperative arena and not a competitive one.
So it's a frame of mind that constantly seeks that mutual benefit. It's not like I said before, that win lose situation. It's like being empathetic and having a bit of sympathy with someone, but also being confident and stand up for yourself, not letting them walk over you. So it's all about balance, this habit, finding a bit of a thing in the middle.
[00:25:59] Speaker A: Love it. And you actually just prompted my thinking about the win win side of things is more about abundance. If you've got an abundance mindset, then you are looking more for the win win. It's not a like, okay, scarcity is really about someone winning and someone losing. Abundance is about, you know, the pie is big enough, we can work through something, we can understand each other enough and we can look for those win win solutions. So great point and thanks for jogging my memory.
[00:26:24] Speaker B: Yeah, that's all right.
[00:26:26] Speaker A: Let's move to our next one.
[00:26:27] Speaker B: Sounds good.
[00:26:28] Speaker A: What's our fifth habit of highly effective people?
[00:26:33] Speaker B: Seek first to understand and then to be understood.
[00:26:37] Speaker A: Nice. So I led into that a little bit before. What's your take on seek first to understand, then be understood.
[00:26:43] Speaker B: So this habit here is the principle of respect. So it's all about listening and understanding to people. And when you are listening, even when I'm listening to you talking on the podcast, it's how can I understand what you're saying before I come up with a solution or something that I'm going to reply back with? I think a lot of this is about we problem solve before understanding what the problem actually is. So it's all about the different types of listening and listening before we speak and not just getting our point across halfway through when someone's talking as well.
[00:27:15] Speaker A: Love it. Geez, you're getting really, really well at articulating yourself around this stuff. And lots of research you've done so well done around listening.
Really fundamental, as you said, around this habit. We did a little exercise with you a couple of weeks back.
[00:27:29] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:27:30] Speaker A: I think we even spoke about in one of the earlier episodes. But a mate of mine, Oscar Trimboli, who's the deep listening expert, he's got a lovely quiz on his website. It's only 30 Aussie dollars or something like super cheap for the value you get.
What was your first listening villain or your most prominent listening Villain. After doing that assessment.
[00:27:48] Speaker B: A lost listener.
[00:27:49] Speaker A: A lost listener. What does that mean? What do you get lost in everything?
[00:27:53] Speaker B: Get so distracted when someone's talking that my mind will just wander and think about work tonight or what I'm doing over the weekend. Not actually focusing on what you're saying or what somebody's saying to me. I'm just thinking about other stuff. And that's when you get to the end of what someone's saying. It's like, what did you say? I think even just saying, okay, I was lost, but I'm back now. Do you mind just like, repeating that last thing as well?
[00:28:17] Speaker A: Absolutely. Yeah. So how does being the lost listener in your side of things affect your listening? What do you. What do you have to be mindful of?
[00:28:25] Speaker B: Not getting distracted or not going off topic. Just focusing on what someone's saying and not trying not to let my brain wonder as well.
[00:28:36] Speaker A: Yep. And like you said before, that it's not about. Well, I don't think you said it's not about stopping it, but what you did articulate really, really well is when it happens, just acknowledge that. And if you haven't heard what that person said because your mind's wandered, then it's just like, oh, sorry, mind just wandered off. What we saying again? Can you just refresh?
[00:28:57] Speaker B: Yeah. Just being aware of it.
[00:28:58] Speaker A: Absolutely. And that's a perfectly acceptable thing to do. The worst thing you can do is, like, keep nodding away and like. Yeah. And then they ask you a question. You like what?
That's probably not ideal. That doesn't make the person feel too valued, does it?
[00:29:12] Speaker B: No, it doesn't.
[00:29:15] Speaker A: Going back to being proactive. I'm not going to ask you a question about this. I'm going to say something. But if you think about me talking to you.
So my listening, my primary listening villain is dramatic listener, which was your secondary. Not going to unpack that too much yet. You can maybe comment on that. But for me to be proactive or an opportunity I could be in, being proactive is I could make sure I don't talk crap to you for too long at a time.
[00:29:46] Speaker B: Yeah, that's very true.
[00:29:47] Speaker A: Yeah. Because if I do, and believe me, I have a habit of doing it still because it's in my DNA, my personality. But if I talk to you for too long, I know that you're gonna wander.
[00:29:59] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:30:00] Speaker A: Your brain's gonna wander.
[00:30:02] Speaker B: Yep. Definitely.
[00:30:03] Speaker A: So for me, being proactive, if I just be more deliberate about trying to. Trying to do exactly what I'm not doing now, which is Dragging on.
[00:30:13] Speaker B: It's all right. I'm focused this time.
[00:30:15] Speaker A: You are. You are. Because I'm really looking intensely.
[00:30:17] Speaker B: Yes, yes.
[00:30:18] Speaker A: But for me, as a leader, if I'm being proactive, and I understand that you're one of your listening, or your primary listening villain is lost listener, then giving you information in short, sharp doses is probably a much better thing.
[00:30:32] Speaker B: Yeah. Straight to the point.
[00:30:34] Speaker A: Exactly.
[00:30:34] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:30:35] Speaker A: So if I'm not doing that at any time, which is probably a lot, you just tell me, Brendan, too much information all at once. Remember, I'm a lost listener. I've warned it off 10 times already.
It's perfectly okay to do.
[00:30:49] Speaker B: Yeah, it is.
[00:30:50] Speaker A: That helps me.
[00:30:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:30:51] Speaker A: Because I get dragged away in this stuff and, you know, I can talk and get excited.
[00:30:54] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:30:54] Speaker A: Don't I?
[00:30:55] Speaker B: And you do. When you're really interested in something you want to talk about, you just go on and on. If someone's not interested, they're going to be like, what. What is this? So, yeah, that's a great point there.
[00:31:06] Speaker A: The other thing that. And when we talked about connecting, networking a couple episodes ago and we had the event this week, the second point I put on my top three networking tips for the alumni students. Do you remember what it was?
[00:31:27] Speaker B: It was turn up, be something and then follow up.
[00:31:32] Speaker A: Well done.
[00:31:33] Speaker B: Be interested, Be interested. That's it.
[00:31:35] Speaker A: So this is this. Seek first to understand. If you're interested in people, if you're interested in what they have to say, if you're interested in understanding where they're coming from or whatever, then you're going to ask questions.
[00:31:52] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:31:52] Speaker A: You're going to try and listen. You're going to apply the fifth habit of seeking first to understand where they're coming from before trying to be understood.
[00:32:03] Speaker B: Yeah, definitely. Yeah.
[00:32:07] Speaker A: So in networking or in connecting and building relationships, this habit would seem pretty important?
[00:32:14] Speaker B: I think so, yeah.
[00:32:16] Speaker A: Do you think you're a good listener?
[00:32:18] Speaker B: I think so, yeah. Yep. I find myself listening more than. Or maybe more than speaking sometimes, which is good and maybe good and bad, but yeah, definitely.
[00:32:31] Speaker A: Do you think you've got a. Got better at listening since knowing your villains for sure.
[00:32:36] Speaker B: Even just like being aware of, like, when I talk and just focusing back and just forgetting about that.
[00:32:43] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. Very good.
Business ownership, leadership development. Let's. Let's take this context again. Well, actually, no, before we jump to that, so what have you. Have you seen anything in your experience again, your relationships with your friendship group and stuff like this, where maybe people that you know are maybe not living this as well as they could seeking first to understand, then be understood.
[00:33:10] Speaker B: Yeah, I think definitely, even just around school, having people who will just jump to the point, this is what you should do because this is. There's an analogy that I've written down here. Taking a pair of glasses. So the glasses you're working, they make you see perfectly fine. But if I need a pair of glasses and you're like, here, try mine, they work for me. They'll work for you.
They don't work for me because they only worked for you. So I think jumping, like I said earlier to that problem solving for actually understanding. My eyesight's different to yours, so I'm probably not going to be able to see out the same glasses. So I think definitely, even with friends and with teachers always jump into that solution without understanding what the problem actually is or the question or the listening is nice.
[00:34:01] Speaker A: Love it. Do you want to try my glasses?
[00:34:03] Speaker B: No, it's all right. I think I'm seeing okay at the moment, which is fine.
[00:34:06] Speaker A: Yeah, you're fine. Very good. Absolutely. You don't need artificial help.
Even with the. What, you know, what's eventuated with us working together. That if your advisor, advisors. So let's say, Tim, especially if they didn't take some time to understand what you're interested in, what you might want to look at and stuff like that, then he may have just come and say, amy, just go and do this, this and this. And you're like, okay, I'll do it. But none of that appeals to me.
[00:34:38] Speaker B: No, I'm interested in. No, exactly.
[00:34:40] Speaker A: So, I mean, I think again, a great sort of view of this program and the big picture side of things you're involved in at Central Coast Sports College that your advisors are taking the time to understand, maybe asking some questions or getting you to do some research and then coming to them to share some thoughts and ideas and then they're able to give some advice once they've understood a little bit more about what you're about and what you think you might be interested in.
[00:35:01] Speaker B: Yeah, definitely.
[00:35:02] Speaker A: So that you feel that that happened pretty well.
[00:35:04] Speaker B: Yeah, I think they definitely take the time to understand, like what the child's interest or the kid's interest is as well, and then finding an interesting industry.
[00:35:15] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:35:16] Speaker B: An industry that links to what that interest is.
[00:35:19] Speaker A: Yeah. Fantastic. And you mentioned when we were preparing for this too, about one on one meetings. And we know that I've got a digital program around mastering one on one meetings, which is super, super important. I had my family members go through that a Number of weeks ago now we did a six, seven week program and that'll relaunch again in February actually. So if anybody's interested in learning how to master their one on one meetings and get greater performance from their team and from their business to again give them more money, more time, more freedom, if you're a business owner or a senior leader, then you can go to leaderbydesign AU waitlist, sign up there and you'll hear more information about the launch coming up in February. But you mentioned this, so you're fantastic at allowing me to give some plugs to that program. Because in mastery 101 meetings, seeking first to understand then to be understood is so powerful, isn't it? So when have you had a one on one meeting or a one on one conversation where maybe that's been in important to make sure that you've just understood, ask questions before you've dived in and said this is what I think you could do.
[00:36:27] Speaker B: Let's give an example here. Each week we do check ins with our adviser or supposedly mentor. So just checking in and keeping that accountability. And I think even if they've got advice, listening to it or to any situation, always if someone's got advice for you, just listening to what they have to say and then being like oh that was great or let's see, I'll just trial if it works, you know what I mean? So I think yeah, there's definitely so many situations where you're in a one on one situation with somebody or either they're talking about something and they're asking for advice or they're giving you advice as well. So plenty of times for sure, love it.
[00:37:05] Speaker A: Back to my business world and using this example. So whether it's my business meeting with a, say, a potential new client, I really need to ask a lot of questions to understand where they're at, what challenges they're having, their business. Actually, am I the sort of business coach, business support person that they need? Do I have that experience to help them with the problem they're trying to, trying to solve? So if I'm not asking those sorts of questions, then I'm not going to be able to provide some sort of tailored solution to them. Again, whether that's me and with the expertise or whether it's somebody else in my network say, look, you know what, Emmy's actually much better at this stuff than me. She'll keep you inspired, she'll keep you energized. That sounds like more what you need as opposed to, to me with Some of the general business growth stuff. And yeah, I mean, I don't want to knock myself. I've got some pretty good experience in business, but you get my drift. Making sure that we're just asking the questions. And I guess even from a client perspective, let's use your parents again in real estate as real estate principles. So they need to make sure that they're listening to the needs of their client, which is normally the seller, and making sure they're understanding what they're about, what they're seeking, maybe what the next step in their journey might be. So it all starts to give them a bit of flavor about how they can hopefully ultimately get the best result for their client.
[00:38:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:31] Speaker A: So seeking first to understand, then be understood sounds pretty damn important in life, doesn't it?
[00:38:35] Speaker B: It is. I think it's one of the. Well, they're all very important, but I think it's a really good one that we use all the time.
[00:38:43] Speaker A: Absolutely. Is there anything else you would like to say about this fifth habit of highly effective people?
[00:38:50] Speaker B: I think we've actually covered everything from this one so far, which is really good.
[00:38:55] Speaker A: Excellent.
[00:38:56] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:38:56] Speaker A: There's probably only one other thing I would like to say, and that's more about being curious and not judgmental. So I think being curious about things, person problem, process, instance, issue, whatever. Being curious about that again means you can ask questions. I. You seek to understand.
[00:39:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:39:18] Speaker A: Be understood. So if we can do our best. Bloody hard. It's one of the things that I find most challenging in life is about being curious and less judgmental. But if we can focus on that, then this fifth habit will do pretty well.
[00:39:29] Speaker B: It's a great thing to take away from this. Yeah.
[00:39:33] Speaker A: Amy? Well, we've summed up habits 3, 4, and 5 of the habits of highly effective people. So habit 3, put first things first, really about prioritizing. Make sure you're doing the big things first and then you can fill your time with those little rocks, those little bits of sand that sit around the outside. Using your analogy, which is a great one.
[00:39:55] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:39:56] Speaker A: We've talked about thinking win, win again, really about abundance, mindset, thinking win, win. In relationships, the interactions we have, the business agreements or business proposals we put together, we want to make sure that it's not a win loss situation. It's like, how can we get this result so that you feel good about it? I feel good about it. We each week walk away and we think, yes, this is, this is a great relationship, this works well, and we'll all put equal time and effort into that. Because what will happen is that if somebody walks away feeling like they're losing, that'll start, the resentment will start to build and things will just break down over time, basically.
[00:40:31] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:40:32] Speaker A: And then our fifth one that we went through was seek first to understand, then to be understood. Which again we said is a very, very important. They're all important, but this one is very, very important. Take that. Be curious about people. Try and understand where they're coming from, where it's in one on one meetings, whether it's advisor check ins, whatever you're having, then having conversations with various people. Then seek first to understand, then beyond then to be understood.
[00:40:58] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:40:59] Speaker A: I think we've summed this up pretty well and this has been our longest episode to date. 41 minutes so far. Well, maybe if Mervyn edits a few things out for us then it might cut it back a little bit. But look, great conversation. I think it's been a great conversation.
[00:41:13] Speaker B: It's been a good one. Yeah.
[00:41:14] Speaker A: You've done fantastically well. The information you've shared from your perspective about these habits. So in our next episode we're going to talk about habits 6 and 7 and how important those are and we'll start to wrap that up together. So I think we've gone well. Actually there is one thing that I did forget, Emmy, when we talk about habits 1, 2 and 3, you mentioned something to me and what did you mention about grouping these habits?
[00:41:38] Speaker B: So they grouped them in. Or Stephen Covey grouped them in three different sections. So the first three habits, so one to three are about personal mastery. So building up yourself, you know, setting goals. How can you be proactive? How can you set goals for yourself and begin with the end in mind? How can you put first things first, like all about setting goals, being proactive for yourself. Then the four to six habits are about relationships and people listening to people, understanding people finding that win situation as well. And then the last one, which is all about self renewal, renewal, renewal and like reflecting on all that of what you've done as well. So I thought that was really interesting.
[00:42:28] Speaker A: Absolutely. Well done. That's a, that's a good summary on that side. And we also spoke and we'll have a dig at your dad. Apparently your dad needs to be sharpen that saw number seven, which we talk about. We maybe use him as a vivid example next week, shall we?
[00:42:40] Speaker B: Yes. Sounds like a great.
[00:42:42] Speaker A: We can make sure he's going to listen to that episode because we're going to talk about it even more.
[00:42:45] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:42:46] Speaker A: Awesome.
[00:42:47] Speaker B: Good idea.
[00:42:48] Speaker A: Awesome. In a very good light, I'm sure.
[00:42:50] Speaker B: Yes, of course.
[00:42:51] Speaker A: He's a good man, Emmy. Well done again today. So we've unpacked those habits. Thanks for that summary at the end to tell people, put a bit of an Overview on the 7 Habits. In our next episode we're going to go through habits six and seven. We'll give a bit of an update on how our week's been. Next week I'm sure we'll have another great week with lots of other exciting things going on. So thanks again for listening to the episode. If you like what you're hearing and learning a little bit more about leadership and designing your own leadership journey, then give us a like or a rate and review on your favorite podcast platform.
Once again, I am doing a launch on my master one on one meetings program in February 2025 so you can sign up to that waitlist. There's absolutely no commitment to the signup. It's just to get more about when we're starting the launch. You can go to LeaderByDesign AU waitlist and we had our 12 founding members go through that program last August September and the feedback was sensational. I'm very sort of honoured and humbled by the feedback that I received from the 12 family members. So really looking forward to taking that program to the next level and opening up to a broader cohort. So if that interests you, then sign up. And if you want to keep listening to our episode, this one will be published very, very soon and we'll be doing another one next week with myself, Brendan Rogers and Emilie Moran.
[00:44:14] Speaker B: We'll see you then.
[00:44:15] Speaker A: Great to have you again Amy. Thanks for joining us.
[00:44:17] Speaker B: Thanks for having me.
[00:44:17] Speaker A: See you next week.
[00:44:18] Speaker B: See you then.
[00:44:20] Speaker A: In the hybrid working world, I've seen too many business owners and their businesses suffer because of poor performing employees leading to below average results.
If you want to improve your employees performance to deliver consistent results for your business, you have to master one on one meetings. The doors to our Master One on One Meetings training program are opening soon. I'll teach you how to improve employee performance and deliver consistent results using one on one meetings. To be one of the first people notified when the doors open, go to Leader by Design AU Waitlist. Don't wait. Sign up now.
