Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Most leaders aren't held back by what they see, but by what they don't see and the biggest leadership blind spot. It's the tough conversations you avoid.
[00:00:10] Performance drops a little, standards drop a little, and before long the gap between what you expect and what you're willing to say grows wider and wider. Tough conversations aren't the problem. Avoiding them is.
[00:00:25] Today I'm going to show you why avoiding tough conversations is the number one leadership skill holding your team back and how to build the capability to lead them with clarity, confidence and care. You're listening to why your business isn't growing and how to Fix it. The Business Growth podcast for business owners and leaders who want to scale their business, lift team performance and sharpen leadership without working 60 hour weeks. Here. Here's the truth. Blind spots are dangerous because you don't notice the damage until it's already done.
[00:00:58] Most of the issues you're dealing with today didn't start today. They started weeks and sometimes months before the moment. You avoid it. A tough conversation because when you avoid that one moment of discomfort, here's what you silently missed deadlines, dropped standards, growing resentment, inconsistent behavior, and eventually a culture built on quiet frustration.
[00:01:27] Avoiding tough conversations doesn't keep the peace. It postpones the conflict until it gets bigger, harder, and more emotional.
[00:01:36] The cost of avoidance is always higher than the cost of clarity.
[00:01:41] Leaders don't avoid tough conversations because they're weak or or incompetent.
[00:01:46] They avoid them because they're human.
[00:01:50] We avoid these conversations because we don't want to upset someone. We're scared of being the bad guy.
[00:01:56] We worry it might damage the relationship.
[00:01:59] We don't feel confident in how to say it, we're unsure how the other person will react or we simply haven't built the capability yet.
[00:02:08] Most leaders weren't taught how to lead tough conversations, so they avoid them. Or they wait too long, or they overcorrect and come across too harsh.
[00:02:18] And this is the blind spot. Leaders don't notice themselves avoiding the conversation, but everyone around them sees the impact.
[00:02:27] Which brings me to a real story.
[00:02:30] I was coaching a director in a business recently. A brilliant operator. Cares deeply about her team, but deeply conflict avoidant.
[00:02:38] When performance issues came up, she'd soften expectations, push conversations out, or hope things would just sort themselves out. And of course, they didn't.
[00:02:47] Eventually the issue reached a point where she couldn't avoid it any longer. So she went in and ripped the band aid off and it landed harshly. Too blunt. Too direct. The pendulum swung from avoidant to Abrasive. And she left the conversation thinking, why can't I get this right? Why does it feel so unnatural? And the truth? Well, she didn't have a system for tough conversations.
[00:03:11] She didn't have the capability yet either. And she was trying to lead people without the leadership tools to do it confidently.
[00:03:19] This is incredibly common and incredibly fixable. This was her blind spot. She avoided conflict for so long that she couldn't see how much it was influencing performance.
[00:03:31] So here's how we need to reframe it in our heads.
[00:03:34] A tough conversation isn't confrontation. It's clarity. It's care, it's alignment and ultimately it's leadership.
[00:03:44] Tough conversations aren't about calling people out, they're about calling people up.
[00:03:50] They're how you protect standards, how you build trust, how you support growth, how you lead your business and your people.
[00:03:59] And the moment you see this blind spot clearly, the moment you recognize what avoidance has been costing you, you can finally close it. And the good news? This is capability you can develop step by step, conversation by conversation.
[00:04:17] Now here's a simple five step path to get started.
[00:04:21] Number one, start with intent.
[00:04:24] Not what you want to say, but the outcome you want for the person and the business.
[00:04:30] State the facts, not your frustration.
[00:04:34] Leadership is clarity, not emotion.
[00:04:37] Number three, be specific about the behaviour and not the person.
[00:04:41] Specificity builds safety.
[00:04:44] Number four, ask a question to partner the solution.
[00:04:49] What do you think is going on here? What support do you need from me? How can we make sure this doesn't happen again?
[00:04:56] And number five, set a follow up rhythm. Accountability isn't a moment, it's a system.
[00:05:03] So these aren't scripts, they're capabilities. Human capabilities that any leader can build with the right structure and support.
[00:05:11] Here's the bigger picture. Most business systems teach you how to lead the business, but very few teach you how to lead the people.
[00:05:20] That's why tough conversations feel hard. Not because you're bad at them, but because you've never had a leadership ecosystem that develops the capability.
[00:05:29] And this is exactly what the high impact leader ecosystem solves.
[00:05:33] It builds you as a leader from the inside out. Your identity, your confidence, your clarity. And then gives you the operating system to turn those capabilities into consistent behavior.
[00:05:45] And inside that ecosystem is the people operating system where you learn, practice and master the leadership skills that systems like EOS and OKRs never teach.
[00:05:56] Communication, clarity, accountability, confidence, tough conversations and leading people through challenge and change.
[00:06:05] This is where true leadership capability is built.
[00:06:09] Blind spots don't disappear with more processes.
[00:06:12] They disappear when you grow as a leader.
[00:06:16] So if you want to uncover and eliminate the leadership blind spots that quietly sabotage your team's performance, the kind of leader your team trusts, the kind of leader who protects standards and drives performance, then I'd love to help you. You can book a call to explore how the high Impact Leader club helps you build the leadership capability that most systems never teach, including how to lead the tough conversations really well. You can go to leaderbydesign au bookacall or one word or you can also get the link in the show notes you've been listening to. Why your business isn't growing and how to fix it the business growth podcast for business owners and leaders who want to scale their business, lift team performance and sharpen leadership without working 60 hour weeks. If today's episode resonated, follow follow the show, share it with someone who needs to hear it and remember success that Scales is built by design.
[00:07:10] Grow yourself, grow your team, grow your business. Now go lead with impact.
